


Hold the Phone

by Saint_Rick_The_Dick



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Dirty Talk, F/M, Phone Sex, substance use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 18:58:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13981300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saint_Rick_The_Dick/pseuds/Saint_Rick_The_Dick
Summary: A drunken booty call turns into drunken phone sex.





	Hold the Phone

Yes, you were a little drunk. And, yes, you definitely wanted to booty call that guy you’d met at the bar two weeks ago. **  
**

He was older, much older than the type you usually took home, yet there had been something about him you couldn’t quite comprehend, something intriguing. So when he’d sauntered over, offered to buy you a drink, you’d immediately said yes. One drink became three, turned into five, and before you knew it you were reaching for him, bunching your hands in the lapels of his lab coat (who wore a lab coat as everyday attire?) so you could get closer because you _needed_  to get closer, and  _oh my god_  when he’d pressed against you and you felt the hard, hot line of his cock at your hip, the sharp prick of his stubble along your jaw as he kissed your neck…

Well. Suffice to say, what followed was some of the best sex you’d ever had. No one could blame you for wanting a round two.

You retrieved your phone, a little wobbly from the effects of the booze, scrolled down to the name “Rick” in your contacts and tapped the “Call” icon.

On the third ring, he picked up.

“Yeah who uh - who is this? Whaddaya want?”

Ouch. That stung a little. But hey, you’d only met the one time and maybe he lost your number. Reminding him of your name and the particulars of your last rendezvous, his tone shifted from mildly annoyed to flirtatious.

“What the fu… ? Oh! Oh, yeah! Uhhh, hey. Shit. Hey baby, what - what’s goin’ on?”

Fuck, even the sound of his voice was enough to make you wet. The alcohol had brought down your defenses, made you brazen. You weren’t in the mood to play coy, and so you came right out with your request.

“I was hoping you weren’t busy. Maybe you could come over tonight…?”

He grunted at your invitation and you could tell he was interested, but he didn’t agree. Not good. When he spoke next, his voice had dropped lower, playful, and you could hear him shifting around on the other end of the line.

“I-I-I can’t tonight, baby. Got - a little busy, buuuut… W-what - how about you tell me what you’re wearing.”

 _Oh_. Now, this was an acceptable alternative. You bit your lip, squeezed your thighs together as your desire continued to bloom. Glanced down at yourself - not exactly sexy attire - but blah blah honesty and best policies. If you’d said you had on some skimpy, lacy thing he’d know you were lying, anyway.

“A tank-top and a pair of leggings.”

That seemed to please him, and he hummed his appreciation before asking his next question.

“Bra? Panties? Gimme uh - I like specifics.”

“No bra. Panties, yes.”

“No bra. That’s - I-I-I like that. It’s hot. How ‘bout - go ahead and push the top down. Get your tits out, squeeze ‘em a little. Make your nipples niiiice and hard. I wanna know about it. Make some noise for me, slut.”

You complied, pinched and rolled each nipple between your thumb and forefinger, gasped. That earned you a grunt of approval, and you heard a clink of metal. Belt buckle? You had to ask.

“What are you doing?”

He chuckled and you licked your lips, your arousal now an insistent thrum. Goddamnit, why didn’t he just come over?

“I-I-I’ve got my fat - my big dick in my hand and I’m stroking it. Nice and slow.  _Ffuck_ it feels good. Get uh - get rid of those pants. A-a-and ditch the panties while you’re at it.”

There was no hesitation, and you wriggled your hips, pulling your clothes down and off, discarding them to the floor. Already you were aching, desperate to be touched, and with a moan, you ran a finger through your slit, gathering the moisture. Anticipating a positive reaction, Rick delivered.

“Nnnnff fffuck, baby. You sound so - goddamn that’s sexy. You playing with your sweet pussy? Tell me how wet you are. Tell me how much you want - how bad you want my cock.”

Arching your back, you whined, wanton and shameless, slipped one and then two fingers into that plush heat, wishing it was him. You imagined how he might look right now, his cock in hand, maybe biting his lip as he stroked it. How the head would glisten with precum, his thumb coming up and around to gather that bead of moisture and pull it back down the shaft.

“Oh  _fuck_ , Rick.  _Yes_ … I’m so wet. And - I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck my pussy or - or - I want you to fuck me in the ass. _Please_.”

He groaned. It was a deep sound, guttural, and delicious, and you rolled your hips, slid your fingers out to tease your swollen clit before sinking them back inside. You heard another grunt, and this time when he spoke there was raw urgency in his voice, his words coming out shaky and uneven.

“Fuck, that’s - that’s so good, baby. Dirty slut. My cock is - I’m so hard listening to you moan and - nnf - fuck yourself. Y-y-you want - like my big dick in that tight little ass? Want me to - uuunf - fuck you until you’re screaming?”

All pretense gone, your cradled the phone between your cheek and shoulder so you could use both hands. At his question, you sobbed your confirmation - a simple “ _Yes_!” all you could manage -  and you listened to the noises he made, his primal grunts and pants of pleasure. You could hear the wet sounds as he stroked his cock, and it sent that sweet tension ever higher. He groaned again, and oh fuck you couldn’t help the desperate, high-pitched whine you made in return. His voice was too much - lewd and carnal and perfect - and how did he manage to reduce you to a sloppy, needy mess with so little?

But he wasn’t done with you yet. You were going to  _earn_  this, he said. He wanted to know  _everything._

“C’moooon. Don’t stop, baby. I-I-I wanna  - I  _need_  to hear you.”

“Mmmm, yes, Rick. I… I want you to make me cum with your - with your dick in my ass -”

“Ooohhffu - that’s - that’s it. Good girl - gimme - gimme more - “

At his encouragement you felt yourself clench. You were right on the edge, that prurient bliss threatening, building, almost there -

“And I -  _oh god_! I love the way you fuck me. How your cock is - it’s so big but I fucking love it  Fuck - I wanna cum. I’m so close.  _Please_! Please, Rick, let me cum.”

He moaned and you could tell he wouldn’t last much longer.

“Goddamn you’re so - such a good slut. A whore for my dick. I-I wanna bend you over and - uhnn - fuck your pretty little cunt then - then I-I-I’ll fuck your ass. Watch my fat cock slide in and out of your tight ass before you cum.  _Unnng_ … Cum for me slut. Say it - say my name. Go on.”

His words were your undoing and you fell apart, release taking you, in a flood of pleasure, a rolling tide. You called his name, a hoarse cry, and as you returned to yourself you heard him groan, loud and lascivious, a string of filth pouring from him which bled into unintelligible noise as he followed you. His breathing was harsh, peppered with small grunts as he rode out the last of his orgasm, and then he exhaled, slowly, before you heard him swallow. Probably taking a drink.

Silence, and then he hummed, a note of satisfaction in his voice.

“ _Fuck_ … That was hot. I-I gotta send that Rick a thank you note. Or maybe a fifth. You uh - you make sure you keep this number, baby. Y-y-you’ll be hearing from me again.”

You blinked, sat up. Did he just say  _that_  Rick? And what did he mean hearing from him again? This entire exchange had just transitioned from gratifying to confusing.

“Why wouldn’t I keep this number? And  _your_  name is Rick… Isn’t it?”

He laughed, amused at your obvious dismay.

“Listen, baby. The Rick you met? Wasn’t me. He uh - he was visiting from another dimension. Infinite realities means - i-i-it means infinite Ricks, and that motherfucker pulled a shitty prank by giving you  _my_ phone number. One of the oldest tricks in the book, but hey. I-I-I’m not complaining. You’re a thirsty little slut and I’m moooore than happy to pick up where he left off. Sooo - “ he paused belched - “next time you need a good dicking, y-y-you give me a call. I’ll be riiiiight over.”

But before you could process anything he just said in an attempt to formulate an articulate response, he laughed again.

“Oh and uh - if you wanna take more than just my cock, I-I-I’m sure I can find another Rick who’d fucking loooove to wreck you. Hell, maybe a gangbang? Aaaanyway - “ you heard him take another drink - “Send me some nudes tomorrow. Give me something to jerk off to. Later, babaaaaay!”

And then he hung up.


End file.
